Stormy Weather

If rain is the sky crying, then on a cloudy day is the world depressed? Showing its emotion with the gray in the sky? I like to think of it that way. Its not sure if it wants to let it all out with rain, and sure as hell wont open up for the sun...and sometimes I feel that is exactly how I am. Depressed and not sure how to move on from it.

Sure 6th grade wasn't terrible. I learned how to line my eyes with a black pencil, and that my favorite music had a lot of powerful anger. I learned that sex wasn't just kissing with tongue and that the girl that sat next to me in geography definitely had a thing for girls. I was confused but in all the same fully aware of how the next couple of years would work...or so I thought.

Moving to Illinois really took a toll on me. I just wasn't much for making friends. The first day of school I wore my new Nirvana shirt (I had no idea what Nirvana even meant) and really just kept to myself. The really tall girl in a mustard yellow shirt diagonally behind me on my right had such an annoying voice I thought I was going to end my life and it was only homeroom. As they were showing us to our new lockers, the girl in the mustard shirt and her friend approached me. Kindly offereing their friendship by making fun of how our homeroom teacher was so much shorter than us. It was easier than I thought. The girl in the mustard shirt was Moe and she instantly became my best friend. We were in a group of three..not the girl from the locker assignments but a girl we called Mik. Mik came from a very different home life. Her step father, Ed, was very verbally abusive and only made Mik's life a living hell..I felt for Mik. She had moved all the way from Texas with her mother who once was her hero and now her enemy. She soon drifted from Moe and I though. Becoming her own person. I can't say we were sad to see her go...

I still was living in Illinois when my family moved into our more permanent home. I became much darker..mostly black clothing with thicker liner only to distance myself from more and more people. Honestly, I didn't care. I had Moe and that's all I needed really. We dated within our circle. Being the only two girls it wasn't much of a fight for the cutest ones. All of them druggies who smoked pot before school making Moe and I envious and annoyed (mostly annoyed) with their attitudes towards everything being "i don't care" or "do you have $20?"

Moe and I were inseparable..and toxic. We were the rain clouds overhead...and we were brewing up a storm.